The first question most strangers ask me is "How tall are you? In one survey, about half of collegiate men required their date to be shorter, while a monstrous nine of every ten women said they would only date a taller man.
" If I'm feeling charitable, I answer honestly: "6-foot-2." They often follow-up with, "Do you ever date shorter men? And online, it's even more brutal: Women can calculate how tall they are in their highest heels, add a few inches for good measure, and then filter out men who fall below that sum.
With that not-so-sexy image un-doubtedly in mind, my date backed off. Back then, I was engaged, but my fiancé didn't agree with the notion of women leading the church, so I broke up with him and packed for seminary.
Read: 10 Ways To Have Better Sex, According to Science This is bullshit.
Single people sign up for a half-dozen dating sites and apps in order to widen their pool, yet most won't break the height taboo. Men should date women who are taller than they are, and women should date shorter men.
For chrissakes, I'm talking about of us getting laid here!
Only four percent of heterosexual couples feature a shorter man. Now, in order for you, a shorter man*, to circumvent this bullshit and convince wonderful taller women to date you, you have to understand why women feel this way.
(With good cause: Women over six feet receive forty percent fewer messages on Ok Cupid than their 5'4" counterparts.) Ask any super-tall woman about her dateless teenage years and the number of times a well-meaning adult said to her, "The boys are just So how do we get over our collective height hangup? After all, it's nearly impossible for we amazons to find a partner who meets the classic 8-percent height differential, so we've to get comfortable dating smaller men. So let's first take a basic lesson from the world of super-tall women: Do not approach a leggy lady and fucking open with "How tall are you? " Even if her height is part of her appeal, wait until fifth-date post-coital bliss to say how much you love it.
Which brings us to your more general task: neutralizing her insecurity by conveying that bigger is . That you don't feel like less of a man when you're with her. Some of it boils down to you owning a more classic masculinity—going in for the kiss first, deciding the dinner location, simply being more assertive.
But keep in mind that, because you're asking her to question gut-level beliefs about what she finds attractive, you need to be willing to broaden your own definition of what you find attractive—and convey to her that it does not contain the phrase "smaller than me."Of course, women also have to be willing to check their own biases about short men.
I consider short guys my natural allies and am constantly making the case to my female friends that they should stop fetishizing tall men. To go on even just one date with someone who falls outside of our eight-percent range, and to ask ourselves whether there's actually less chemistry there.
He was cute, with thoughtful eyes and a full mouth. He had no qualms about parked-car makeout sessions.
As he leaned in, eyes closed, lips parted, I moved closer, but just as I felt the warmth of his face, he jerked away."What if people see us? His unease had nothing to do with him — and everything to do with me.
Yes 89% No 11% None 20% 1 to 2 32% 3 to 5 30% 6 or more 18% Never 4% Only in cases of rape or incest, or a threat to the life and health of the mother. 51% 2 to 3 dates 32%4 to 6 dates 7%More than 6 dates 2%A man should always pay for me. 6% 2 to 3 dates 36%4 to 5 dates 28%6 to 10 dates 21%As many as it takes to get married.