There is also sometimes an infectious, contagious type of quality to bipolar disorder when one spouse is afflicted. Compulsive and obsessive behavior or grandiose schemes that alienate their husband or wife. Staying up late, being undependable in their job, around the house, in their co-parenting and so on, all of which are far more destructive and disruptive than they may realize. Sexual obsession, including hypersexuality, preoccupation with inappropriate or uncharacteristic sexual activity, and infidelity. For the spouse who is NOT bipolar, the consequences of divorce are pretty much the same as for anybody else: 1. For the bipolar spouse, the divorce may lead to a number of difficulties that compound their mental, emotional, physical, and financial difficulties.The non-bipolar partner, and the marriage itself, takes on a “bipolar life of its own” as the non-bipolar spouse see-saws between solicitous and extreme care-giving during their bipolar husband’s or wife’s depressive episodes, and feelings of blame, resentment, anger and betrayal when their spouse is in the manic phase of bipolar disorder. They may get on with life and be happier and healthier, either as single people or as part of a new couple. They may regret the break-up of the marriage and wish they had sought counseling and other solutions. As Goodwin & Jamison point out in the most authoritative textbook on bipolar disorder, , many studies show that living alone or being single often leads people to stop taking their medication and complying with their treatment plansin general. In fact, research has shown that there is little or no difference between the state of the marriages where one spouse has bipolar disorder but is in remission, and other married couples in general.In my experience, guys’ reactions all fall within one of these five ranges. ” Then he runs a mile away, cuts off all contact, and avoids you like the plague.
You can tell from his reaction that he was much more interested in sex than in any kind of emotional connection.
This often represents immaturity (and/or shallowness) on his part.
You’re not just a body that can be used for his entertainment and pleasure. You’re a human being who deserves the time and effort to be spoken to and loved for who you are — he is the one who will be missing out on the opportunity to be with someone a lot more special than most others. He’ll run away and find lots of casual sex partners of varying quality, and then one day, when he’s older, he will start craving emotional connection.
But that deeper side of him will be so under-developed that he’ll stumble awkwardly through relationships and marriage.
Is it possible to have a happy and healthy relationship if you have bipolar disorder or are married to someone with bipolar disorder?
The picture that comes out of the studies done to date is very mixed.It is a belief and a strong thing you strive to achieve-it is clear from this that he doesn’t truly understand your own motives.You are who you are and you should be proud of that.What is particularly striking is the difficulty in separating cause and effect. For example, we know that bipolar disorder erodes the quality or ALL interpersonal relationships, and marriage is no exception.Perhaps for many of us the intuitive thing is to assume that a person with bipolar disorder will have poorer interpersonal skills and be harder to get along with than a “regular” person. What I mean is,have you ever considered that marital problems may be a trigger for mood episodes, and it is stress somewhere in the relationship that is making the bipolar spouse worse? However, there is still some room for a complex interplay between marital tensions that arise from the behavior of the bipolar spouse during a mood episode, and possible increasing and/or triggering of episodes of mania and/or depression because the bipolar spouse is so vulnerable to any problems that arise in the marriage.Thus the relationship can be very turbulent and uncertain. Divorce is often a prelude to “downward drift” where the person with bipolar disorder seeks and receives less treatment, suffers more frequent and more serious mood swings, encounters problems with employment, the legal system, and life in general, and experiences deteriorating finances and physical health. Further, both groups had similar perceptions of significant events during the course of their marriages.