The truth is, telling a perfect stranger "I can even make you squirt" is sexual harassment, whether it's said online or in person.Dating apps have made this kind of harassment so commonplace that we barely notice it—and not just because of the apps' anonymity.
' Then another replied, ' What Alan said.' Apparently, they were friends who happened to be together when I messaged them both the same thing!
I was mortified, so I blocked them—it was the first thing I could think to do." -Veronica, 22"After chatting on Tinder for a couple of weeks, I decided to grab drinks with this guy at a local bar. I'm sorry, but implying I'm a prostitute is going to get you nowhere." -Emily, 22"Once a guy insisted that I tell him my SAT score when I was talking about my job in college admissions.
I know all too well that men exhibit this kind of behavior offline as well, but at least in real life, I don't have to pretend it's okay.
Dating apps: Can't live with them, can't live without them.
I was a few beers and a couple hours in when I decided to call it a night. I thought that was super weird and didn't want to, but he kept asking so I finally told him.
The guy judged me for yawning and put two more beers in front of me—then he guilt-tripped me for 'making him come out of his way to meet for such a short date.' A few days later—when I hadn't responded to any of his texts or Tinder messages—he texted me and called me out for being 'that rude type of girl who ghosts men for no reason.' Ew." -Shauna, 23"I used to use Ok Cupid, and guys who were way older than me would always message me weird things (one actually propositioned me for a sugar daddy situation). Then he made a big deal about telling me his, which was 50 points higher. He also told me that he got a soccer scholarship at the school where I work, but decided to go to a different college. DENIED with an SAT score waaaaay below what he'd told me!
Creepy pickup lines existed long before Tinder—even the "Apocalypse Opener" is just a variation of a line some men were already using in bars or street corners.
What does it say about our overall expectations for an online dating experience that I'm unfazed by creepy, cut-and-pasted words in my inbox? This is one of several reasons I no longer use dating apps.
But here's the thing: These messages should upset me—and they should upset everyone.