Looking at the situation from my friends’ perspectives, I can understand why they give me this advice.
I think they assume a disabled mate will be able to relate better to someone like me.
“Well it’s just that…” She paused, trying to choose her words carefully.
She claimed her husband and a few friends believed she was developing feelings for her client.
My friend wasn’t mad that people thought she was dating an employer, instead she was upset when people thought she had a “thing” for a man with a disability.
A friend had called my office complaining he had been rejected as a client by a new matchmaking service in town.
After I talked with him, I decided to try and sign up as a client, too.
When I called, I was barely able to get one word through before the woman cut me off.
“I don’t think I can help you here, but I have some disability dating websites you can try,” she said. It’s not that I am opposed to them but all the ones I have tried are a) outdated, b) connect you with someone in the middle of another country, c) are filled with college students trying to complete an “interview of a disabled person” term paper or d) filled with people who have fantasies about making love to someone with artificial limbs.
So far I have resisted the temptation to dust off my cowboy boots or pretend I’m a wine snob.
However, maybe one day I will find the enthusiasm to take part in her trendy hipster dating activities.
To many that statement may sound exaggerated, but it could be based on some truth.
Last month, I was talking to a friend who does attendant work in the area.
I would like to think they have my best interest at heart, but I can’t help but wonder if there is an unconscious fear of suggesting me to certain people.