Just 2 misdemeanors for Pot and paraphenalia, but I showed it to daughter. She says if he was still doing any he's tell her because they have an honest relationship! This guy carries a huge fish gutting knife on his belt that has this keen thing where the sheath turns it into a switchblade function. I don't know if your daughter does this or not, but mine tells boyfriend everything I say about their relationship. :eek: It's incredible to read-I honestly had no idea there were 2 of these girls running around ruining their lives. I didn't trust what she was telling me about this one from day 1, then I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt until I realized none of this makes any sense, and asked her too many questions, I guess. I don't think she's ever gone out with a 'decent' one-she has no idea what it would be like, how it could change her life-for the GOOD for a change. I know, just from my grandson, that things are not 'good' there. It is so Jekyll and Hyde with her-and I don't like who she is now at all. I go from 'ripping' her because I am SO mad, to apologizing for whatever I can think of that I did, to begging, to you name it. I'm at the end of my rope not knowing where to go or what to do any more. That's when I get really worried that she might be hurt. I needed to talk, and I'm sorry you're going through what I am - only worse because of your grandson. SO much to respond to, but have to be with my grandson for a while here-he will leave tomorrow-:(.
I asked her why he didn't tell her he had a drug record. Where does her brain go when she's with this loser? Daughter has no qualms about his carrying it at all times. She did the same thing with her last loser before this one. I'm sure, too, that either 'HE' is reading her email that I send, or she tells him. She only knew him 2 weeks, and I didn't think it was necessary to have him over here that soon-then it all blew up anyway. You would think for her sons sake if nothing else, she'd leave, but she won't. I can't remember if you said, but what is your 'relationship' with your daughter now? I mean, she's had all day and can't pick up the phone for one second after it was her idea to call? You know it's just odd both of us found this site within, what? :( I guess I'll go to bed now and hope daughter is OK. I really hope you've heard from your daughter by now.
We felt we at least would have accepted her choice if she had said more than, I'm leaving in 2 weeks, and that's the way it is, period.
She seemed to be getting her life together-had a full time job at a school, bought a vehicle, was going to school to eventually get her teaching degree. All I know is, we really want our adult children to get a good solid future going so we can settle back and relax a bit.
I have a real 'gut' feeling that he is 'abusing' her-maybe not physically, but emotionally. I have a 24 year old daughter who only dates the loser type you describe.
My daughter usually pretends to me her guy is prefect, but she finally ends up admitting they fight over things she says are none of my business - so I have no idea what she finds is worth fighting about. I complained and he turned it into tickling her..which she has always hated! And she has always been a women's libber type person, but he kept slamming down his empty beer bottle in front of her saying "Beer me! :eek: Let me tell you how he showed up at our house to meet us. His hair was beyond greasy and his clothes were so wrinkled..me try to describe them for you because you can't imagine.
She ends up saying they worked it out and now all is fine though no matter what it was. I'm not talking about a little wrinkle here and there or like from wearing the clothes and they just get a wrinkle or two.
Hello, I'm new here, and found this forum trying to figure out why my daughter is doing what she's doing! Her last one was 6 years ago, and ended up with her having my grandsons, who is the love of my life. Early in September, she met this guy-who I know now she was lying about...job/schooling etc. They went 'out'-she was the one to drive (she said she 'didn't mind', then I found it it was because he has no car! Within 2 weeks, she stormed out of here, took her son, and is living with this guy. I think it's a total lack of self esteem, even though I've done everything I could do through the years to help her with that-I guess I didn't do enough. I can find NOTHING good that 'HE' has brought to her life, and I don't see why she insists on staying. I know how you feel being angry and then wondering what you did wrong and then back to not even wanting to talk to your daughter. I don't know if just leaving your daugther alone will help or not.
They have lived with me since she found out she was pregnant. I have since found out that besides having no car, he has no job, which to me obviously means no money, no future..grandson says he sits home and plays video games! I have also found out she has quit her schooling among other things. I've gone from complete anger to 'what did I do wrong' to I don't want to talk to her-the complete gamut of emotions. It didn't help with my situation if I left her alone or bugged her off-and-on or constantly!I try to tell her so many disagreements at the beginning of a relationship should tell her to let it go! Before my daughter met this guy she thought anyone who did drugs was a loser. If I thought there was ' hope', it would be a little easier-I'm just afraid any 'hope' I had is gone. I'm in Minnesota-if you are, I'm convinced it's something in the water here! It could still be the water, but I live in Virginia. : D You asked how my relationship is with daughter. They looked like you balled them up and twisted them real tight while they were wet and let them dry that way. His shoes were ratty and he had this deep bottle opener on the sole! And once he used the shoe opener he had to drag the mouth of the bottle out of that hole! By contrast..daughter will not walk out of the house unless her makeup and hair are perfect and her clothes and shoes are stylin'! She has called me every day this time, I don't know why it's different this time, but she has not called today even though she voluntarily told me yesterday she was going to call me again today, and it's PM right now so I figure she's avoiding it because she's not coming home tomorrow like she said and she's not 'ready' to inform me.This guy tells her he used to do all sorts of drugs but he's clean now..huh, ok....I run a background check on him and find out he has a recent drug record! I'd believe he might be off drugs if he wasn't constantly going without sleep and boucing off the walls all the time. I hope both our daughters get their heads straight soon! Can't write a lot now, but are you sure our daughters aren't one in the same?! Becky Mandee, I just can not get over how alike our daughters are. Yes, my daughter lies over and over about 'them' to make me think they are actually decent people until I find out otherwise. Other than that, I have no clue what's happened to either of us. And he kept wanting to open my husband beer bottle and husband was like....uh, that's ok. I saw some pictures she'd taken from trips with this guy, and he is always a mess! I really hate it when she says she's going to call and then doesn't. I was just there for a week in October-I love it there!We fear all sorts of things when we don't understand why our daughters would get a relationship going with a loser. I told her this time that she should go to some kind of counseling to find out WHY she seems to attract this kind of person, and how to change that.Even the emotional abuse thing has been in my mind as well. She agreed, but then said, 'I won't leave him though...' Well, that kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it!I will wish you the best with your daughter, and mine. I hate to give up hope that my daughter will end up having a happy life, but I do give up 5 minutes at a time it seems like and the next 5 minutes I'm back to hoping she'll stop this nonsense and trying to talk some sense into her. I didn't know she was cutting out right after until it happened.