His essay seemed sincere, his interests were complex and varied, and, most importantly, he was an open donor.It was this fourth donor who was the ingredient needed to make my son “from scratch.” Of course it was awful and tragic and sad and soul-sucking that my earlier tries with the other donors didn’t work.If it was noted that the donor was attractive or had a specific attractive feature that appealed to me, I wrote down his profile number. His donor essay was clever and funny, and he wrote well about his family. It may be a little complicated to understand, but I selected this donor as a sort of tribute to a friend who was not able to have children.
I didn’t mind that we didn’t have the same blood type — something one of my fertility doctors suggested I look for.
This donor had other qualities that stood out to me.
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I can give him essays to read, photos to look at, details about medical and physical traits and characteristics, but not much else.
There may come a day when my son wants to know more. Still, there’s a bit of comfort in knowing things are “open.” There are long stretches of time that go by where I hardly ever think about the man who helped make my son.
When Aminah Hart chose a sperm donor during her fertility treatment, all she knew was that he was “happy and healthy.” She was yet to learn that those simple words described not only her IVF baby’s father but her future husband.
For Hart, a London-born Australian, later met her sperm donor and, she has revealed, the couple are now married.
Their instincts kicked in; they remembered to get quiet and coo. Five years earlier, when I decided I was ready to become a mom, I embarked on a long and tedious journey.
On one of these first visits, a woman in the day room crooned at us, “Where did you get that baby doll? The first part of that journey was figuring out what I needed to make a child.
As you read through a number of descriptions, you start to hone in on the same things within the search sections and the list narrows down considerably. After three tries with the first donor, I started to feel like he wasn’t the right choice. Immediately a donor attracted my attention and it was the first time I paid any attention to things other than physical characteristics.