This goes back to something I regularly state: You need to look at the bigger picture. In essence, women who want to pursue ‘friendship’ with men who are unworthy of their time and energy are short-term thinkers.
If you thought past your current, reactive feelings to the situation and considered 1) the real him with his consistent behaviour and character, 2) how you have consistently felt in the relationship, and 3) what you profess to want in the future, there is no way on earth you would give this man the time of day, nevermind a pot to pee in!
The more often you say this and think this, is the more you are forced to get real, is the more you have to be accountable for why you’re still miserable and you haven’t moved on.
As I said in part one, remaining friends with an assclown or Mr Unavailable, when you are still emotionally attached, is about establishing a new ‘fallback position’.
But another type of man, an assclown or Mr Unavailable, offers the hand of friendship because they like to keep the door open, just in case they should ever decide that they need you for something – a shag, ego stroke, some money, your parking space, or as a beard when they attend their next family function…
They also can’t commit to being with you…and they can’t commit to not being with you, and they also like to feel that there is at least one woman out there that wants them…even if they don’t return the feeling.
So they stay in your life knowing that the likelihood is that you will continue to be emotionally invested, even though they’re not.
Mr Unavailables and assclowns like to be in control of the situation.
Or, they screw you up so much that when you tell them to beat it and they do, you panic and call them up…only for them to behave exactly as they always do.
The offer of friendship when two people break up is often a cordial thing – in most circumstances, I wouldn’t go taking them at their word unless several months have gone by and you have both moved on.
They’re too busy playing with the loose ends of their old one… Mr Unavailables and assclowns don’t really ‘get’ the whole boundaries thing because everything is on their terms.