But it has to start somewhere and it doesn’t start by meeting people that friends set you up with or that you meet at a party because most people who are out there looking are not looking for an FWB relationship; people who are looking for FWB are a pretty exclusive group who are at a particular stage in their lives wherein their needs are pretty specific and self-centric.
Friends with benefits online dating
Compared to the 3 percent average in all sexual orientations, 15 percent of people who are queer and 8 percent of those who identify as bisexual and pansexual are in open relationships, according to the study.
Given the personal, unique nature of relationships, understanding why is difficult, Gesselman said."The jury is sort of out on what the exact reason for that is," she said.
Eighteen percent want a long-term relationship, and the same percentage desires a short-term scenario — a situation where a couple wants to see one another multiple times but isn't looking to go the distance. "The idea of the familiarity there but with no romantic connection, it seems to be putting people off of it," Gesselman said."Friends with benefits usually comes from being friends first, so you might have an attraction to someone that you are friends with first or that is in your friends circle, and then it becomes sexual after some event or talking about it.
But I think that people are less likely to consider that with someone that they don't already know or that there's no prior familiarity with."The findings, titled "Technology & Modern Sexuality: Results from Clue and Kinsey's International Sex Survey," include more than 140,000 responses from Clue app users and people who answered social media posts.
Gesselman couldn't speak to the differences between cultural norms.
But five years ago, when singles were asked about sexting, the percentage was much lower.
Clue, which tracks fertility, periods and sexual activity, partnered with Kinsey to find out more about how people are using technology in their dating and sex lives. While 96 percent of the respondents identified as women, Gesselman said, the information they received from men proved informative. Four percent of men, versus 2 percent of women, use an app to become comfortable with their partner's body.
Here are more points of interest from the study.• Men are more likely to use an app to make sexual relationships better. The same percentage of men use technology to learn about safer sex, whereas only 1 percent of women do.
Those ways are still great and they still work if you have plenty of time; but it is much quicker and easier to use one of the many online dating sites to meet up with someone who is looking for exactly the same thing that you are; and then let things follow their natural course from there.
It doesn’t help in having a convenient FWB friendship if that person wants something different out of the situation and it doesn’t help if that person is too far away to make it easy for you to get together.
Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, May 1, 2013.