Is it too much of an ask that I could actually meet someone who can see me as a woman, and not just as mother or worse, a bit of bedroom fun? I know Everest is high, but SOME people get up the damn thing, don’t they?
Dear Christina, Before I give you the pep talk you need, let me first acknowledge the painful truths that you’ve eloquently outlined above. Having four kids under the age of 9 is a huge handicap.
At the time, when I was 33, I blamed her for this, thinking that if she liked me more, she’d make a greater effort. What I didn’t know then is that kids suck up every second of free time you’ve got, and that you have to work extra hard to create me-time, much less couple-time.
Ultimately, all I wanted from that single mom was to hook up, because that’s all I felt she could give me.
I’d try to spin it in a slightly more positive way, but I can’t.
As a screenwriter, I don’t know if you live in LA or not, but this is a town where people don’t grow up for a really long time.
They want to take spontaneous romantic trips to Vegas, which is something that’s hard to do with four children of your own.
Instead of dating cute 34-year-old single guys who don’t have kids, how about you date cute 43-year-old guys who are in the exact same spot in life, who understand your predicament, who have obligations of their own, and who will be delighted to meet a woman who gets THEM.You should just find a guy who is looking for a Brady Bunch family, who sees sex as the icing on the cake instead of the cake itself.Maybe your ex shares custody and gives you weekends off, but I think we can all agree that women with four kids have less available time than women without four kids.Even if I really take my time getting to know someone before we become intimate… Don’t hear from him for days, I assume it’s over…then a text with, “hey are you home tonight? Is it unreasonable that I am hoping someone could take me seriously or see my worth?I’ve been in a terrible relationship before and honestly now, I’d rather be alone than with the wrong guy.And if the greatest gift a woman can give a man is her time, who are men going to gravitate towards – the harried mom who has to manage four lunches, babysitters, soccer practice, and bedtime routines – or the one who is blissfully unencumbered by such essential responsibilities?