So until then, or until redemption rains down, HOLD UP YOUR HEAD and JOIN MY HAND and KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW that you are GOOD.
And even if you have to disrupt this adoption or say you’ve had enough, you are STILL an amazing parent. For those on similar roads, please cling to these verses.
And know that if you choose to engage in activities and behavior that the parents feel is detrimental to their child’s longterm healing, you are forsaking a friendship for your own feelings.
That you’ve dropped everything for their redemption.
That you have spent countless hours and dollars on therapy and treatment and hospital stays and literature and counseling and so on. They don’t understand that adopted kids of trauma are often the most master of manipulators.
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You wanted to make an impact for eternity on the life of someone who needed you to step up. But right now you’re crying out and screaming because you don’t even think you can make it through today. And you are sure to come out on the other side someday with fewer friends, less pretense, and more grit.
You were never guaranteed the outcome, but that doesn’t change the kind of warrior you are. I mean I know that people have hardships and difficult relationships from time to time but to have it strung together I was appalled at how little social service people, who work day in-and day-out with foster kids, understood the effects of trauma, the rages and the secondary trauma that families experience by welcoming this into their families. You’re going to be like sheep running through a wolf pack, so don’t call attention to yourselves. Don’t be upset when they haul you before the civil authorities. It is not success you are after in such times but survival. Before you’ve run out of options, the Son of Man will have arrived.” -JESUS (in Matthew -23, To those of you who DON’T walk this road, who AREN’T in the trenches, who haven’t parented a child as described, but YET haven’t abandoned, betrayed, or turned away…GOD BLESS YOU IMMENSELY AND FOREVER. You can’t IMAGINE how just your “being there,” your validation of the pain, can be the very thing to keep our heads above the water. And God will no doubt reward you for standing at all. I think the hardest part is that until you have lived with that bullseye on your back people just can’t grasp the life you live. Some people will impugn your motives, others will smear your reputation—just because you believe in me. And if you have to wake up every single day and look in the mirror and say that out loud, so be it. If you have nothing left but the cross you bear, know that Jesus smiles upon you. That you and your spouse are drowning in debt because you will stop at nothing to help your kid. By definition, they know how to survive by lying, charming, manipulating.