I have heard the, "I just need to be single right now" spiel before.
It basically meant that we spent months in an awful relationship limbo, where neither of us had any idea what was going on and so we just kept going in circles until we finally ended things for good. So, it’s safe to say that I am not a fan of taking relationship breaks. After spending weeks complaining about how their relationship is going down the tubes, they tearfully announce that they’re going to try “taking a break.” Every single time, I silently groan and ask them if they’re sure. They just need a little time apart and then they’ll get back together and everything will be fine. The truth is, taking a break is a horrible idea for a lot of reasons.
Sure, it probably works with some people (AKA those in toxic, never-ending relationships), but for most of us, it’s the worst. Source: Shutter Stock where Ross and Rachel go on a break, but Ross thinks it means they're broken up, so he hooks up with someone else, then she finds out when they're about to get back together and they break up for good? It's so famous because it happens in real life too. Source: Shutter Stock I know for a fact that single life can seem really great and glamorous when you feel like you know for sure that you have someone to fall back on after a few weeks.
I've given myself new projects to work on (getting rid of old clothes is a good one), and put more of my attention toward strengthening my friendships and the other relationships I had.
I stopped thinking of our break as a competition to see who can move on the fastest.
I'm highly impatient, and extremely stubborn, while he is the kind of guy who revels in taking things as they come, handling life on a day-by-day basis. It was an even more perfect way to sum up the entirety of my feelings as well as how I was going to move forward, without having to look him in his stupid attractive face while doing so (but, you know, in a nicer way).
I wrote to him that no matter what happened, I would think positively of him.
If you’re in this situation, here are 10 things you NEED to know before you actually take a break. Most couples assume that they'll take a break for a few weeks, do whatever during that time and get back together no matter what. When you're not with or talking to each other, you guys might change your minds about how you feel or do something that will hurt the other person. Sometimes, even if you specifically say your BF can't talk to anyone else, he does... Breaks are hard because no one really knows what's going on. Or, single life can seem miserable when you're stuck in such a confusing spot in your relationship.
Things can very easily fall apart and you won't end up back together - making you even more disappointed. Once you're on a break, you're more likely to think, "hey, I'm technically not with this person anymore... Obviously you guys weren't in a good place before the break, otherwise you wouldn't be on it. Either way, breaks don't really give you an accurate view of single life.
Source: Shutter Stock Have I not made myself clear?
In the end, taking a break just makes everything horrible.
I had dated several men who felt that I was desperate to be in a relationship with them We had been dating for several months before the commitment-phobia came out. We both fought to make things work—it wasn't just me doing the fighting. Some people take a short, temporary break and agree not to date anyone else, while others take a break that's essentially a break-up with the acknowledgement that you might get back together. The first thing I did after agreeing to the break was to write him a letter.